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♥ : Came in with a happy heart, leaving with a heavy heart. Thursday, March 5, 2015 Hello dearest, YOU. (: Nope, I'm still not gonna change how I greet my readers here on blogspot lol. It's just auto, I will automatically type "hello dearest, YOU. (:" whenever I wanna start a blog post. Hahaha.
By the way, I just realized it's been a year since my last blog post! Lol.
Haven't touched (nor enter) my blog for a long long time because now I have moved to Twitter, Instagram and Dayre. It's so happening there on those sites that I forgotten that I have a blog lol. It's almost 6.30pm and I am currently in the office. Was updating my internship portfolio, have nothing much to do and I suddenly had the urge to blog. So here I am! :D Actually, I wanted to just come here to take a look at my old self, because I'm in a dilemma. Don't know whether I wanna cut my bangs anot fml. Hence I decided to come see my old pictures with bangs on my blog and also to re-read my old post to see how much I've grown. Ahems. So yeah, coming back here to my blog, first thing I noticed - my blog header. Wtf what on earth was I even thinking last time. So sibeh ugly de picture also can post up here? Lolol. Damn buay paiseh. As I was clicking away, I accidentally came across something. Something that made my heart sank. Something that made my mood change 180 degrees. My boyfriend often told me, since the day he knew me as a friend almost 3 years ago, he noticed that I had 3 really best friends, and he realized that she is the one who is the most similar to me. Similar in terms of the way we think, the things we like, the way we dress, the way we comment/type/talk etc. He says we are similar, TOO similar in fact. He says its probably because we grew up together. We influence each other, that's why we are so similar to one another. I totally agree with his thinking. I think we are very similar too. We love almost everything the same. She was the one who I could tell every SINGLE thing to, no doubt. Whenever I had any issues or anything happy, she would be the first person I would share my joy and sorrow with. We would talk on the phone all day long (as if seeing each other in school for 7 hours is not enough). She was the one who understood my feelings. She would gossip with me about the person I hate just to make me feel better. She would cheer me up whenever I had a fight with my ex-bf. She was always there, 24/7. She would always stand by me no matter what. I felt really blessed having her in my life. She is awesome. I feel sorry. Sorry for all the trouble I've caused. Sorry I made both of us end up in this stage. But I guess, time has almost healed everything now. We are both okay, but no longer bffs. It's a pity, it's a waste, that how close friends we both used to be, it no longer is the same. She now has her own circle of friends, and so do I. We both no longer see each other, and seldom chat with each other. But, eventhough I know we will no longer be that bff we used to be, I am seriously very thankful that we are not strangers, but friends now. Well, at least we are friends.. If I had a time machine, I would definitely turn back time and not repeat the same mistakes again. I would love to have her back in my life, but that is not possible. Things have changed and I know it. Anyhow, thank you, J, for colouring half of my 22 years of life with beautiful colours. You were my greatest influence for the past 9 years of friendship. I loved you all that I could. Sorry for putting you through such a hard time, I totally have no idea how to face you anymore. Hope that you can forgive me for what I've done and move on with your life, because I know that even without me, life will still be kind to such an awesome person like you. Good luck in your coffee journey, I know that you will succeed in this because you're a very creative person that I envy, alot. Our memories will forever be buried deep down in my heart. You may think I forget almost everything, but that's not the case. I remember all the silly things we've done together. How is it possible to forget! I am sad that I hurt you so much but I hope, I hope, one day, you will find a great BFF to replace the hole I left in your heart, because I'm not worth it. Thank you for all the memories, J. ♥ |
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